Holding Onto Shame Will Rob You of Your Destiny

Shame tells us that we have no value, we’re unworthy, and disqualified from the kingdom of God. Shame may not always come from something we’ve done, but can be inherited.

I was born and raised in the south and grew up in a Pentecostal church where my grandparents were the pastors, which meant my mom was a PK(pastor’s kid). She was a young, single mom of two girls. My sister and I knew it wasn’t easy for her, nor was it an ideal situation, especially being the only daughter of Pastors. My grandparents had eight children. So, we were a big family and they were very loving.

how it began

Early in my life, I picked up on the shame of my mom being an unwed mother. Even into early adulthood, I never wanted to talk about my parents because I was ashamed of how I was conceived. My shame wasn’t from something I had done, but was inherited. My parents’ mistake became my shame. I wore this shame as if it were a garment and it had become the staple piece of my fashion wardrobe. I wore it day in and day out with everything. The longer I wore it the more difficult it was for me to takeoff.

I accepted Christ at an early age, but I allowed shame to overshadow Christ’s love for me. I knew the Lord loved me, but I couldn’t accept his total all-encompassing love because I felt unworthy. The fabric of that garment of shame was woven out of rejection, fear, unforgiveness, and insecurity. I loved my parents, but I was angry for having to carry around that shame. Although it was not for me to carry, I chose to carry it anyway. I knew my parents loved me. So, please understand that I am not judging them because we all make mistakes. God knows I’ve made my share of them.

The Road to Healing and Accepting God’s Love

Christ accepted me just as I was and I had to realize I had no control over the circumstances in which I was born into this world, but I do have control over how I allow it to affect my life. I had to forgive my parents, take off that garment of shame, anger and resentment and fully accept the immeasurable love of Christ. I was scared to take it off because of what it covered up. To take it off meant I would now have to deal with what was underneath: fear, rejection, insecurity, and everything else I didn’t know was there.

No matter how I entered this world I am still made in the image of God. I still have his likeness because he is my true Father. My parents are the means in which God brought me into this world, but my Father in heaven is the one who created me. Before I was born, he knew me. He’s the one who knit me together in my mother’s womb.

It is through encountering his love that I can let go of the shame and accept that I am loved.

and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. ‘
Romans 5:5 ESV

You don’t have to live with it

Shame brings feelings of failure, public exposure, disgrace, embarrassment, social rejection, ridicule, and dishonor. It robs you of joy, peace, and your destiny. It stops you from becoming who God created you to be.

Behold, at that time I will deal with all your oppressors. And I will save the lame and gather the outcast, and I will change their shame into praise and renown in all the earth. ‘
Zephaniah 3:19 ESV

The Bible says that God removes our shame. Christ replaces our shame with honor. So take off your garment of shame (wherever it came from) and put on the garment of honor that he has freely given you.

Jesus took all your shame and fear so you wouldn’t have to be tormented by its wicked hold. In exchange, he freely offered you his glory and healing power. All you have to do is receive by faith what he has already given you. You are free from the bondage of shame in him.